


Mindful

by Fire_Bear



Series: Tumblr Requests [25]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, Assassins & Hitmen, Consumed by Revenge, Fantasy, Fights, Grief/Mourning, Knights - Freeform, M/M, Not Dealing With Grief Well, Political Marriage, Revenge, Swordfighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 23:13:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9146290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fire_Bear/pseuds/Fire_Bear
Summary: Sir Eggsy has just returned from a mission at the border to discover that his king is about to get married - but not to him.





	1. Marriage

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aliesiar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliesiar/gifts).



> This was for the prompt: “I love you. I’m completely and utterly in love with you. Please don’t get married.”
> 
> I then got asked for more of it cause, clearly, people didn't have enough angst. And then I added another part so that people could be happier(?).
> 
> Also: Eggsy was trained at the palace to be a knight as Harry let Michelle stay in the palace after Lee’s death (which means she never met Dean and never had Daisy). As such, he doesn’t speak the way people would expect him to. But, hey, it’s fantasy. Just so's you know.

King Harry of Kangsan was discussing arrangements for his upcoming wedding when his most trusted knight and champion entered in a rush. The young man marched across the floor of the throne room, his expression neutral in the face of Chester the Wise whom he distrusted but could do nothing about. When the advisor spotted him approaching, he muttered something to King Harry who replied and dismissed him. Chester left, passing the knight on his way with a scowl. Sir Eggsy merely stared blankly at the older man.

Once he had exited and the room was empty save for the king and knight, Eggsy dropped to a knee before the throne and bowed his head respectfully. “Your Majesty,” he said. “I know I have no right to ask for an audience but I must-”

“Now, Eggsy,” Harry sighed. “How many times must I tell you? There is no need for all the formality when we are alone.”

Eggsy knew this and had even gotten into the habit of merely bowing his head when not in company. However, he needed to keep Harry at a distance right now, if what he heard was true. Falling back on what he had been taught by Sir James seemed like the best thing to do. Nevertheless, he slowly got to his feet though his gaze remained on the floor. “Is what I heard in the kitchen true?” he asked, voice quiet.

There was a long pause and that was answer enough. Eggsy felt his heart break. He had been sent on a mission of charity to those villages along the border of Valensi which had been plundered by the Valensians recently. Once he had returned, he had hoped for a homecoming from his beloved king followed by a cordial dinner and then, later, a night in his bed. They had been close since the death of Sir Lee and the Queen and Princess. Now, though, it seemed that it would all have to end.

“Waron is still on rocky terms with Kangsan,” Harry said, as if that could explain away the betrayal Eggsy felt deep in his Eternal Soul. “The best way to get around this, to bridge gaps and to promote peace and alliance between our countries, is for me to marry Princess Tilde. Were Valensi to openly declare war, we would have an ally.”

“Did Chester suggest this?” Eggsy asked, sounding like a petulant child. He hated himself for it but he was too busy holding back tears to force himself to sound professional.

“His advice has always been sound,” Harry said. But he sounded uncertain and Eggsy found himself looking up at his king for the first time in weeks.

Somehow, Harry seemed to have grown older. There were more lines on his face, some of them clearly from frowning. A streak of grey had appeared through his lovely brown hair, so soft and wonderful. His eyes seemed to show his age, show what he had seen through his life. Eggsy also thought that Harry looked thinner. Was there something the king hadn't announced to anyone? Was he ill? Eggsy was immediately worried and hurried up the steps to the dais before he could stop himself. He managed to halt, close enough to touch Harry, but with enough distance to be proper.

“This is not right,” Eggsy said. “Princess Tilde is young and-”

“She is the same age as you,” Harry pointed out, wearily. In a flash, Eggsy remembered the start of their secret relationship when Harry tried to push Eggsy away so he could find someone younger and 'worthy' of the knight's love.

“That... That is not the point. Surely, if she is as old as me, she will have found someone to love already?”

“She is willing to go ahead with this union,” Harry said, gazing up at Eggsy with a pained expression.

For a moment, Eggsy was unsure what to say. Harry's union with Tilde made political sense. She was also young enough to carry an heir, something Harry lacked. Meanwhile, Harry's relationship with Eggsy was harmful for his image – Eggsy had heard mutterings and rumours even as far the border. There was dissent in the kingdom, grumblings about an impure and defective king. Their relationship was forbidden and there was nothing Eggsy could do about it or the wedding.

Even so, how could he let this go ahead knowing that Harry wouldn't be happy with Tilde? He could see it in the monarch's eyes, in the way he looked longingly at Eggsy. So Eggsy threw away all caution and gently took Harry's hand in both of his, rubbing his thumb against the ring with the Royal Seal.

“I love you,” he told his king. “I am completely and utterly in love with you. Please do not get married,” he begged.

Harry's lips curved upwards into a smile, though it still looked pained. He lifted his hand and Eggsy instinctively leaned down. His hand cupped Eggsy's cheek and Harry's thumb rubbed Eggsy's cheek, just under his eye as if brushing away tears before they formed. “I am sorry,” Harry sighed. “I _must_ do this. I have to think of the kingdom.”

He had been half-expecting this but it still felt like Harry had plunged a sword into Eggsy's chest. Biting the inside of his mouth, Eggsy nodded and let go of Harry's hand as if it was burning him. For a brief moment, Harry's hands continued to reach out to him. Then Eggsy stepped out of reach and Harry let them drop heavily into his lap. Carefully, Eggsy continued walking backwards, down the stairs to a more acceptable place for someone of his standing. When he reached the bottom, he turned, ready to go back to his chambers.

Then he thought of the upcoming wedding and how the castle would be abuzz for the next few weeks. His chest felt tight and he realised that he couldn't be around the palace, waiting to watch the one he loved get married to someone else. So he turned slightly, just enough to look at Harry over his shoulder. “In that case,” he said, “let me return to the border. The Valensians have become bolder and they will continue to attack. I observed the border guards and they need better training. Allow me the honour.”

The look on Harry's face could only be described as devastated. “I... Yes. That sounds acceptable. I give you my blessing on this venture.”

Eggsy nodded, spun on his heel, knelt before his king and bowed his head. “As you wish, Your Majesty.”

“Eggsy...” said Harry in the same tone he used to tell Eggsy to be less formal. Then he sighed, a weary, painful sound. “Be well, good Sir Eggsy. May the Sorana watch over you on your journey.”

Nodding, Eggsy rose and hurried off, not daring to look at Harry lest he cry.


	2. Message

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically, more things would happen between Marriage and Message - like Charlie being a jerk, probably.
> 
> Jack is a human version of JB. JB is Eggsy’s horse as well, though, so he has two incarnations. Rem is short for Remington, a make of gun and she is actually Roxy’s dog.

“Come on, Jack!” said Eggsy, smiling kindly at the gangly teenager. “Hold the sword higher.”

“L-Like this?” asked Jack, shakily lifting the heavy sword.

Stepping forward, the knight lifted Jack's arms into an appropriate position. Once he was satisfied, he moved out of the way to let the taller, young woman see her opponent. She smiled at Jack who returned it, albeit a little weakly. Eggsy spotted a light blush on Jack's cheeks as they faced each other and he suddenly remembered Harry's flushed face during one of their many times love-making.

It was so sudden and distracting that he zoned out briefly, allowing the woman to swing her sword at Jack twice. Without the proper instruction, Jack merely stood still, nervous. On the second strike, the blades connected with a clatter and Jack's flew out of his hand. The villager yelped and dodged backwards out of the way. He needn't have bothered for the woman lowered her weapon and turned to look at Eggsy, raising an eyebrow quizzically.

“Ah. Sorry, Jack,” Eggsy said, rather sheepishly. “I think we should take a break. You too, Rem.”

Nodding in acknowledgement, Rem walked off to join the rest of the group who were waiting patiently at the side. Jack, meanwhile, rushed over to the fallen sword, picked it up and dashed back to Eggsy. “I'll get it next time! Promise!” he said, his dark eyes wide and sincere. Eggsy nearly had to look away at the innocence in his eyes and nodded, heart sinking again at the thought that these young men and women were training for something they shouldn't be required to do.

But it had been months since Eggsy had started this impromptu training camp and more people were flooding to him. All of them wanted to protect their border and plenty more would want to do the same further south. He honestly didn't mind training them but it was becoming more and more difficult to forget his yearning for Harry. Every day, someone would say or do something which would remind the knight of his beloved king and his heart would break all over again. He had been a complete mess the day the news arrived that Harry was married to Tilde; he could only be glad that everyone was too busy celebrating the new-found peace and the new queen to notice him crying.

Sighing, Eggsy rubbed at his face and tried to get his head on straight. Harry may have married but he still needed protecting and Eggsy still had to train the people on the borders to better defend their villages. And, when he had finished, he would return to the palace to...

What would he do there? Receive new orders? But he could always send word to Harry and request new orders while he trained the last group... The reply would reach him when he was finishing up and he was sure Chester would work out a way to keep Eggsy out of the palace.

The sudden noise of a galloping horse caught Eggsy's attention, dragging him from his melancholy thoughts; he turned to blink at the man who came directly towards him. For a moment, he tensed, wondering if it was an attempt on his life. Then he realised that it was Simon, one of the messengers from the palace. Eggsy relaxed slightly and frowned, wondering what Harry or the other knights could want to tell him.

“Sir Eggsy!” cried the man, swinging from the horse. His eyes were wide and his hair was stuck to his head from his sweat. All of his clothes were covered in dust and he staggered as he landed, leaning heavily on the horse till it stepped out of the way. He collapsed in a heap and Eggsy hurried forward, worried now: it was obvious the man had been riding for days without stopping.

“What is it? What has happened?” he asked as he helped Simon to his feet.

Simon stared at him as if he was some horrific sight, almost oblivious to his surroundings. “It is the king,” he whispered, sounding shocked. “He is dead. Killed by assassins. Chester has asked all the knights to return.”

Eggsy almost dropped the man as his heart seemed to seize up. Dead? It couldn't be. He was supposed to have protected him. That was his duty – protect the country, the people and the king. How could he have failed his love? Something seemed to be crushing his chest: he couldn't breathe, could barely think, stuck in that position for long moments.

Then, as everything crashed back in on him, Eggsy turned. The group of young villagers had drawn closer, obviously concerned. They flinched when Eggsy stared at them but Jack quickly caught Simon when Eggsy practically threw him at the teenager. Without looking back, Eggsy began running to the village, trying to remember where he had left JB, wholly intent on riding through the kingdom to the palace. He had to see Harry, had to know the truth, had to find out what happened. Because, if it was true, he didn't know what he would do.


	3. Misdirected

Cautiously, Eggsy edged around the corner, sure his prey was there. But, when he finally saw the corridor beyond, there was no-one there. Far beyond annoyed now, he was tempted just to shout to the heavens that he was here, in their lair, amongst them. Maybe they would come out of the shadows, maybe they would kill him; he honestly didn't care any more. He was exhausted – and not just travel weary. Everything was a chore now. What was the point of him going on?

Then he remembered Harry's smile, his murmurs of love, his soft touches and the anger flared again. Red descended and he knew he had to kill the assassins. He had been given an order from his regent and he'd follow through. Not for Chester or Queen Tilde, of course, but for everyone affected by the king's death. For the king himself.

For Eggsy's grief and guilt and despair.

Surely, if he killed them, it would stop hurting. Surely the nightmares would stop. Surely he would be able to function. Surely he could return to the palace and shut himself in his room for a few weeks to rest. Surely he could return to his mother and her comfort. Surely Harry's spirit would be put to rest.

Or was he just making excuses? Was he consumed with the need for revenge?

Shaking away the thoughts which had been plaguing him for months, Eggsy continued further into the hidden fortress. He found it odd that an assassins' base was deserted. Shouldn't there be more people around? Where was everyone? A sense of foreboding stole over him as he reached the end of the corridor, large double doors barring his way.

For a moment, he hung back in indecision. Then he grabbed hold of the handle and pulled it open. It creaked in protest but Eggsy ignored the noise, stepping through as soon as there was a space wide enough for him.

He was in a vast room which appeared to be a dining hall designed to seat at least a hundred people. Torches burned in sconces around the edges of the room while a chandelier housed candles above in an effort to provide light where sunlight couldn't reach. At one end of the room was a large fireplace, big enough for a cow to be put on a spit. A grate had been pulled down to prevent the cold from the chimney pervading the room. At the farthest end of the hall was a dais upon which was a long table, perhaps for those held in the highest regard, though none of them had a chair larger than the others like in the palace. The room was almost empty save for a hunched man at a table close to the door and two figures, a man and a woman who stood ready for him.

One of them was a tall, bald man. He had a severe expression, frowning at Eggsy. His weapons of choice were a pair of throwing knives. A pair of swords were slung over his shoulders above his simple, brown outfit. Beside him, the woman had brown hair tied back to keep it from falling in her eyes. She had such a look of determination that one would falter upon seeing it if they weren't as determined in their task as her. A crossbow was in her hands, levelled at Eggsy's chest.

They were exactly as Chester had described.

Just before Eggsy acted, the assassins seemed to lower their weapons slightly, looking relieved. Then Eggsy snarled and launched himself forward. Their eyes widened slightly and they hurriedly steadied their weapons. Despite their honed reactions, the woman barely had time to loose a bolt from her bow. Such was Eggsy's fury, his focus, that he swung his sword and knocked it out of the air. The man didn't attack while he was preoccupied but Eggsy didn't let that filter through his rage, turning to him next. Using the momentum from the turn, he swung his sword with such force that one of the man's knives went flying, burying itself in the table beside the man who had tensed but otherwise seemed disinclined to move.

“Wait-!” the woman began but, instead of placating Eggsy, it only drew his attention to her. He swung around, swiping at her hands, intending to remove them so she could no longer hold a weapon. However, she dodged, jumping back a few paces. Eyes narrowing, Eggsy advanced, forgetting about the man till he grabbed for the knight's arm. Eggsy spun and dodged at the same time, lifting his sword to block an attack which didn't come.

“Listen-” the man began but Eggsy gave a yell and raised his sword high. Eyes widening further, Eggsy expected to be able to cleave the man's head in two. But the assassin was fast and he dropped his knife to draw both his swords just in time to block Eggsy's blow. Such was the force behind it, however, that the man began to slide along the stone floor, his teeth gritted against the pain.

“Stop!” cried the woman.

“Why should I?” Eggsy growled, his throat protesting. It was the first thing he had said in days. “Why should I stop when you didn't stop for Harry?!”

With a quick push, Eggsy unlocked their blades. The man stumbled back slightly and Eggsy pushed forward, swinging his weapon with a strong grip. His opponent barely managed to block. Eggsy didn't pause, though, and continued through his swing, driving all his strength into his arms. One of the swords flew from the assassin's hands just as a flash of movement in the corner of his eye made Eggsy jump back – just in time as the female assassin had managed to reload the crossbow and fired another bolt at him.

He turned to her, fire in his eyes as he shifted his weight, preparing to rush her. Then he heard it: a familiar voice, an absent voice. A voice long gone.

“Eggsy.”

Shocked, Eggsy faltered. Was he hearing things? Was there some sort of foul enchantment upon him? Had that been how he had gotten so far into the lair? There was really no other explanation and he gritted his teeth, adjusting his grip on the sword.

“Stop,” said the voice. “Eggsy, please. Look at me.”

Blinking away the rage and suspicion for a moment, Eggsy glanced around to take in the other figure in the room. They had stood and they held out a hand to the knight, smiling kindly at him. The same smile that they had used when Eggsy's father had been killed, heartbroken and cautious. So familiar and warm and reminiscent of home.

Sir Eggsy of Kangsan, for the first time since being knighted, dropped his sword in the middle of a fight.

“Ha-” he began, stepping towards the figure. Then everything hit him; his heartbreak, his grief, his rage, his exhaustion. Hesitating, he stared at the person's hand for a moment. Then he dropped to one knee, bowed his head and croaked, “Your Majesty.”


End file.
